A History of Hotness(From Barney's blog)

The following is an excerpt from my informative and well-received textbook tentatively titled “A History of Hotness.”

Martin Luther King Day(From Barneys Blog)

Today is Martin Luther King Day; he was a pretty awesome bro. He taught us to have dreams and stuff. So I thought I’d share with you mine:


I Have A Dream


I have a dream that one day all bros will rise up and live out the true meaning of their creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident - that all are boobs are created pretty good."


I have a dream that one day black and white chicks will come together in my bed.


I have a dream that all peoples of this great nation will suit up together and that polyester will be abolished forever.


I have a dream that one day, all tee-shirts will be wet and boob jobs will be free.


I have a dream that there will be a television network that shows only “Predator” 24 hours a day.


I have a dream that feels like I’m falling and then I wake up before I hit the ground. It happens a lot. Should I see a doctor or something?


I have a dream that babies don’t cry on planes, that men don’t wear Uggs, that “second base” replaces the handshake, that girls leave when you’re done, that there are no waits for cabs, that I can look at a woman’s chest area without getting a dirty look. Yeah, you wore that blouse because you don’t want me to look there.


I have a dream.

Canadian Citizenship(From barneys blog)

The Official Canadian Citizenship Test for Canadian Citzenship


1) Do you want to be a Canadian?


2) Really?


3) Which is more fun?


eh) Watching hockey

b) Having Sex


4) Alex Trebek is ________


eh) Canadian

b) Creepy

c) Canadian and Creepy


5) Which country do you most wish you were really a citizen of?


eh) U.S.A.

b) All of the above


6) Moose are __________


eh) A National Treasure

b) Good eats

c) Proctoring this test


7) The colors of the Canadian Flag are:


eh) Red and White

b) Maple Syrup and Mountie

c) Cold


8) Canada's Biggest Export is:


eh) Petroleum

b) Teeth

c) Mustachioed Game Show Hosts


9) Boxing Day is:


eh) A Holiday celebrated the day after Christmas

b) A day devoted to punching people? The sounds awesome!


10) If you answered "yes" to questions 1 and 2, there is still time to back out. Just get up and walk away and no will be the wiser.